I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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