one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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