Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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