your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize