hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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