How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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