They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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