Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
