He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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