Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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