Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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