i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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