Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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