and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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