it wasn't lemon gatorade
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
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I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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