i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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