I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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