Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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