i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She even gives head with a lisp.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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