ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish I only lived at night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize