I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize