his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Girls should come with a carfax report
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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