I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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