i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize