I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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