my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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