they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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