I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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