OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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