I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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