also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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