Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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