so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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