Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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