he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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