I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize