the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize