eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize