Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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