We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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