hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize