i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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