she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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