Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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