P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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