im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
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Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize