Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize