I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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