using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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