told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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