if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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